Happily Ever After Marriage

The flap reads: "Sarah, a bride in her twenties, embraced what traditional marriage has to offer. But after 18 years of marriage, she and her husband called it quits, leaving her to raise three boys while working to re-establish her career. Here Sarah tells the story of her own life (from childish dreams to the fear of being alone and how to move beyond it) as well as those of others (including a visit to Leonard Cohen!) to bring this hidden subject to light. Her sharing of these stories, the finding of common concerns and voicing them, can help the process of beginning to move past the d-word."

Written by Globe & Mail columnist Sarah Hampson, Happily Ever After Marriage, piqued my interest because I am a divorced woman myself and it's always interesting to me to read about another woman's experience with marriage and the ending of a marriage.

Although more geared to women in middle age and with children, Sarah's book was, for me, quite a comforting read. Candidly recounting the parental role model of marriage she got growing up, she explores with poignant honesty her own marriage, the break down of it, and the consequences of her divorce on herself and her family. But with passionate determination, Sarah also tells the story of how she moved beyond the pain and disappointment of her divorce to forge a new "self" and a new relationship with the world and her family.

As a journalist with an award-winning column, "Generation Ex", Sarah includes in this volume details of her interviews with various big names who have also been divorced, sometimes more than once or twice, and with people who have journeyed through loneliness and love to arrive at places of comfort and confidence - single or married or in a partnership. As mentioned above, she had a lovely conversation with Leonard Cohen I found quite touching and insightful.

Even though I am not middle aged and have no children (apparently I had what is termed a "starter marriage" - a marriage that lasts less than 5 years and produced no kids) I found a lot in this book that completely resonated for me, and I found great comfort within its pages. There is nothing like reading something where you feel the author "gets it", and I felt this with Hampson's experiences, and when I read this book, I felt somewhat less alone with many of my own experiences.

This book is also a great treatise on the complexity and rewards of love - not just romantic love, the but love of family, children, and friends. Sarah's ability to articulate these complexities is nothing short of beautiful.

This is a definite must-read if you are divorced or going through a divorce, or even considering a divorce. There is a lot of wisdom in this book, and a lot of solace as well.